Saturday, July 10, 2010

Win a Date with Keith Olbermann

Having sufficiently digested the morning news, along with my avocado, sundried tomatoes and cheddar omelet, my mind turns to more whimsical thoughts....such as: How can I get Keith Olbermann to notice me?

Woe is me to live here in Atlanta, surrounded by the reddest of red, windbag politicians, who endlessly profess ethics reform and family values, while drunkenly driving their government-provided Crown Vics into trees with their pockets stuffed with twenties. Not only do I pine for someone who lives a thousand miles away in New York City, but to add to my salmon-like aspirations, I serve on the board of Common Cause Georgia and manage the programs of the state's Solar Energy Association.

But, I take heart. I am a five year cancer survivor and our breed is the toughest. We thrive on challenges and our motto is "If I wake up on the green side of the grass, I know it's going to be a good day".

Back to Keith. There is a strong likelihood that Mr. Olbermann is otherwise engaged and therefore unavailable to you or me as potential dates. As it appears, he was, or is currently involved with a reporter from WPIX TV. Credit the media, from which he springs, for that little ambiguity. If he were up for a little friendly competition, (and I have to believe that he must have some sense of humor, having allowed himself to be named sexiest man alive by Playgirl magazine a few years ago--Really) I would suggest that in order to be considered a serious contender, one must make a compelling case for earning his attention for 4 or 5 hours some potentially enchanted evening.

What we know about him is that he was born in NYC (ditto), is somewhat clumsy (that train left a mark--Bad train!), loves baseball (strike one), does not eat bread or pasta (I highly recommend "Joy" gluten-free noodles), is a prolific writer, is prone to occasional bouts of over-zealousness when discussing topics he is passionate about, is a voracious reader, a super-smart, smart ass and a superb champion of the left (those with a brain). What else there is to know, we can only hope to find out.

For a guy who just recently passed the five-oh, he's got a lot going on, and I'm guessing not just me would like to share a nosh with the Uber-mann.

So here's the game; Write an essay (500 words or less) on why you would like to Win a Date with Keith Olbermann. Do NOT include references to body parts or describe yourself in a way that would make your mother blush or send your father out the door with a shotgun. Send a head shot. Email WinADateTKO at gmail dot com and we'll see if we can crack the code.

Maybe he'll pick two winners and I'll get to come along too. Maybe he'll never see any of our responses..... Nah. This will be too much fun. I'm betting Mr. Olbermann is a gambler with a keen sense of adventure.

Hope springs eternal, and I'm still on the green side of the grass.


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